It's 2 am

and I'm sitting here, unable to sleep, even though I haven't slept much this week. I'm pretty convinced at this moment that I am stark raving mad.

However, it's funny how stuff occurs to me, filling my brain, rendering me unable to sleep. It's great, though, becuase I don't have to be anywhere until 1 or 1:30 pm tomorrow. I'm picking Aunt K up from the airport. Unfortunately, most (if not all) of you will never have the privilege of meeting my Aunt K. Being around her and Aunt M makes me remember that I take life too damned seriously, to be honest. :)

Aunt K makes me remember how much I tend to push myself into Dad's side of the family. I hate that I do that! In one way, I love formality, elegance, and all of that. However, if I push too far to that side, the other part of me revolts. "I am so much more zany, interesting and spunky than that, you dork! Stop locking me up!!! I can't take it any more!" I'm tired of being gloomy. I'm tired of being morose. I'm tired of living life as an apology. I like musicals. I'm watching Hello, Dolly! right now. I love that movie. I love the character of Dolly Levi. I need to be more like her. Aunt K's kinda like that, but can't sing as well. :D

Life is WAY too short to take it so seriously all the time. There are definitely things to be taken seriously, but there is so much to enjoy about life. Man.....I MISS theatre. Auditions for Beauty and the Beast were tonight, but I didn't audition. One, I was working. Two, I wouldn't be able to commit to the time commitment. I need to find another show, though. There is nothing like it in the world. It is the biggest rush. Mmmmm.

Man, it is so nice to write this post. This is probably the first post in a while that has really felt like me. I'm feeling all "drastic," (ha!) like getting fake nails or dying my hair a different color or changing SOMETHING. I don't believe I can do the nails thing right now, though, because of Job2. Dang it. Maybe in the fall....

I'm tired of worrying if my spunk is going to intimidate people. "Unfortunately" for them, the spunk is part of the package. I have yet to find a way to not squish it to the point that it jumps out, but I'll get there. :) If people can't handle the spunk, well, it's too bad.

So, the spunk has jumped out again, and just in time, too. :) Be ye warned. > : D