Happy 29th (okay, technically 30th) of December.

It's been a long week. 8-12 every morning at Job1, then a 5-7 hour shift at Job2. It'll be nice to have the cash, but it's been long.

My roommates are always asking me if they can borrow my DVD player and it's driving me nuts. Maybe instead of buying them all belated Christmas presents, I'll just buy a house DVD player and call it good. I'll even be so kind as to set it up, as I'm the only remotely technologically inclined of my house. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe not. I haven't decided yet.

Combine a good guy with a fitting cologne and a good hug, and I'm putty.

This Big Kahuna stuff is interesting. We'll see if it works.

I know I've gotten a lot better, but I'm still frustrated with how much I care what others think. Especially others that are non-entities or that, as much as I like them, really don't matter. Since I'm trying to develop it in myself, I really admire those that walk unapologetically to their own beat. If I seem a little less caring/more apathetic than usual, don't worry too much. It's an exercise.

Brozy and Laulau - I just remembered the specific reason why I took the link to my blog off of bb. If you still want to know, shoot me a PM and I'll let you know.


Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope that everything is going well and can be at least somewhat at peace for today. Best of luck in the upcoming year.



I went out with Guy3 last night. I had a good time. We went to a really good restaurant (yum!) and had a good dinner. Then we went to his house, met up with some of his siblings and went caroling. It was a lot of fun. After that, we drove around and looked at some peoples' cool lights. We then came back to my house and had dessert, and chatted some more and listened to some music, and then he went home. He flies out to Tennessee tomorrow to spend time with his twin brother and his family and will return on the 4th. I thought we connected very well, and I really did have a good time, and told him that I'd like to do that again sometime. It was a little awkward, as we don't know each other very well and weren't always sure what to say to each other, but it was still fun. The poor kid also kept getting distracted by my eyes, which was very attractive. He has great eyes...bright blue. It was fun. Here's hoping he calls and we get to do something again.


Thank Heaven for the Sabrina sountrack.

I can't tell you how many times it's helped.

Physically, I'm feeling fine. No illnesses to complain of, which is WONDERFUL. I thank Heaven for that. I'm emotionally blah, though.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it all.

Deep breaths, mint chocolate torte, and good music will turn me around. Maybe I need to "find myself in Paris." Except it would be Spain instead.

It's not fair...

* when I'm not even aware of the stupid politics in the first place.
* when people don't know me...at all...but they still make judgment calls.
* that I don't know you well enough to 'get it.'

I'm trying! Yeesh!


By the way,

I can be easily persuaded to do things as and with friends. So, please invite me. I just don't want romance. Fair enough?


And as of tonight...

...I am no longer dating Guy1. He's a wonderful person. And no, I'm not just saying that. I felt strongly that it needed to be this way. Go figure.

Don't go thinking you finally have your chance with me and that you're going to ask me out. If you do, I'll probably decline...politely. :) I'll probably also be flattered, but I will still probably decline.

Any questions? Post a comment, PM me, e-mail me, or call me (if you're lucky enough to have my phone number...ha!)



...I realized that:

I'm dating Guy1, I love Guy2, I flirted with Guy3, and I'm okay with that.

Weird, huh?


Merely a young girl's record.

I just got done with a good practice session with my accompanist. He is so sweet, and is very talented.

I have finally started to figured out the flute politics. I pretty much have to be (or at least pretend to be) obsessed with all things related to flute, and like there is NOTHING else I'd rather be doing. This is starting to be true, to a point. It's probably good that I don't live in the same city that the rest of you do, because then I'd just want to hang out all the time. This way, I can live my life and do flute, but know that you still love me and might want to hang out with me on weekends.

I've discovered and finally come to terms with the fact that I hate being controlled and forced, in any or all forms. Everything that I do needs to come intrinsically, whether it's because it will make me happy or because I'm consciously choosing to do something to make someone else happy, or because I recognize it as a 'duty' of sorts. I can defintely be responsible. I also, however, know how to be responsibly unresponsible. I like being irreverent sometimes. You kinda have to figure out how I work. I can be verrry serious, but I can be very lighthearted and goofy. You have to learn my voice inflections to know when I'm exaggerating and being sarcastic. It's sorta how my sense of humor works. If, however, you start forcing me to do something (even if it's something I already do), I will almost immediately have a VERY strong urge to do the exact opposite, just to prove that I can and just to see what you'll do. I value a bit of unpredictability in my life. Predictable is occasionally boring. So look out. :)

At some point, I'll make a "Quirks To Be Put Up With If You Marry Me" list, and a list of "Wonderful Things You'll Get In Return" list. The lists may be very intertwined.

One of the 'Wonderfuls' is that I will always try to make life interesting. I can find excitement and happiness in what often seem to be the most dull and boring parts of life. I've learned how to make things like that exciting, or else I'd get bored and depressed. You probably won't be interested, so I'll just keep those things to myself, but you better not come whining to me about how boring life is, or I'll just laugh at you. :)



Things that can give me the jibblies:

Being controlled or forced to do anything (even if it's something I already do).
Annoying, ditzy, diva flute players.
Music professors (sometimes).
Tight finances.
Getting sick.
Annoying roommates.