BYU *gag*

Once again, friendships altered *insert eye roll here* by what I'm starting to call BYU Poison. It seems that if a guy has attended any form of BYU and he's straight and you want any sort of friendship with him, you must do the following:

* Show interest at some level. Really friendly, moderately friendly, whatever. This must go on for a somewhat brief amount of time. You then must...

* Completely ignore him for a while. LEST he POSSIBLY think that friendliness was actual INterest, completely ignoring him will squash all thoughts that you were "after him." This will once again make you safe to talk to. After this, you must...

* Be careful to show minimal animation in your face at future encounters. Too much eye contact or too big of a smile will confirm his oh-so-deeply rooted fears that you might possibly be interested in something romantic. Heaven forbid.

I give up. I'm friendly with everyone. Is there something inherently wrong with that? Before you go flattering yourself that I'm in love with you, take 30 seconds and see how I behave around everyone else. Did you notice that you're not nearly as special as you thought you were?


Funny RMs

I went to Crimson Nights last night at the Union building (the Utah version of the Wilk), but had to wait in line for a looong time. There were these guys standing behind me whose friends would cut in line with them as they arrived. After about 5 or 10 mintues, there were probably 6 or 7 of them. They were obviously young. After a while, they started checking girls out, but they were doing it in Spanish lest the girl in front of them (heh...) be offended. I don't even know if they were talking about me. I just don't pay any attention when guys start doing that. Well, I did understand enough that I found it intensely entertaining. I was laughing, but was trying to not to do so outwardly so they would keep doing it. It didn't work. I was shaking ever so slightly. One of the guys was walking by me, and turned and said to his friends that he suspected that I understood them. They argued about it for a while until I turned around and said, "En serio." The looks on their faces was priceless. They were shocked. It was really funny. One of them kind of apologized, but it was in that weird, flippant "I'm not *really* sorry but better say I am just in case you were really offended" way. I got a good kick out of it. Maybe they won't be so quick to jump into Spanish next time.



I know you have good intentions, but you do NOT need to keep a running tally on how my life is going. Just because I'm being introverted when you're accustomed to seeing me extroverted, it does NOT mean that I'm not okay. Leave me alone today. No questions asked. Thank you.

Weird Space

So I'm in a weird space. One of my roommates just got married, and two more have guys that they could *very* well end up marrying. It's bordering on disgusting, but not in an "Ick, they're being physical" way. Their happiness/giddiness/whatever is annoying and gross.

As far as Salt Lake goes, I'm not attracted to any of the guys up here that I know, and it seems like the ones I meet are stupid, immature, completely different, obnoxious, obsessed with making out/being physical, scared of girls, or [insert negative quality here]. I'm not attracted to the guys that I "should" be attracted to. That's weird. It's a new thing for me. I usually have at least one guy that I have a crush on.

As for the Provo scene...gas is too expensive for me to date someone who lives down there. I don't have the cash for it, and I don't want to make some poor guy spend that kind of money (unless he really wants to!..:D ) just to be able to see me more than once a week.

I like being by myself and must have alone time to be happy, but only to a point. I have a pretty good idea of what I want, but I'm not sure that the straight version exists in Utah. I'd like to go spend time in England or Spain or New York or Boston or California or somewhere outside of Utah or the podunk states, but I know that I'm supposed to stay at the U to major in music. It's rather frustrating, but what can I do?

I'm also rather tired of being attacked for the things that I value. I have weird tastes! So deal with it! If you think I'm weird, go away.


Phantom of the Opera

I watched 'Phantom of the Opera' tonight...again. I've been trying to figure out why Christine is drawn to the Phantom, and why I always wish she would end up with him instead of with Raoul.

After thinking about it for a while, a conversation I had with a friend came to my head. He told me that he doesn't trust "nice" peoples' (or was it girls') opinions. He doesn't know if they're being honest or just "nice."

The Phantom is not nice. ("You're not good, you're not bad, you're just nice...") There's something about the brooding, secretive and mysterious feel that is attractive. Is it sincerity? Is it that he doesn't bother putting on a facade? Is it the so-called sincerity, or is it the mystery?


Maybe I'll give this a shot...

I was pondering over whether or not I should start another bb thread with some thoughts I was having, but realized they might be better suited for a blog. I thought I might give this blogging thing a shot. No one may care or maybe it will be fun. Or maybe both. :)