As of today...

...the singers *still* drive me crazy!!

Ugh.

What is going on??

I had a very strange day yesterday. I haven't quite processed what's been going on. I've been becoming more and more outspoken, and I find that I like it! Knowing that I have to be more accountable about what I say can be a little scary, but I found it nice to actually say what I think. It was fun, and such a relief! I'm confused, though, because that's not normally who I am. I've historically been the one to go with the flow, do what I'm told, not make waves, etc. All of a sudden, I can't seem to keep my mouth shut about what I think, especially in response to professors and coworkers. The other strange thing is that people are actually taking me seriously and valuing my opinions. This also (and granted, this is just my perception, and is thus a jaded view of reality) is strange. I'm used to being the good little obedient green in the corner, but maybe orange isn't as bad as I thought.

Am I actually changing colors, or what's going on here???

I think that my new favorite movie...

...is Meet the Robinsons.

I love that movie! I like things that encourage kids to be smart, and that movie has so many other things that are great fun.

I think my favorite line, though, is from the T-Rex (as per the mumbling and subtitles): "Well, I have a big head and small arms. I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through. Master?"

:D

Feeling Out of Place

I don't know where I fit in right now. It's becoming increasingly clearer that school needs to be over as quickly as possible. I don't feel like I fit in Academia anymore (even though I need to finish off the semester and not botch anything), but I don't feel like I'm ready for the having kids and being a mom thing.

(I know that there will be full-time work happening that is not related to my major, which will be a good thing. Preferably 8-5, five days a week, not retail, and not being bored to death.)

Ideas, anyone?

Dear Self,

Remember when you told yourself NOT to read the blogs of friends who have children?

Yup. Lots of them JUST had babies. Since you're still freaking out quite a bit about the prospect, it would be a Really Good Idea not to read them. It will help you to Keep Moving Forward with the semester, which is where you need to be focusing.

Love,

Your Self

January the 31st, 2008

Today's a good day.

:)

I really need a haircut.

Good thing I'm getting one on Monday.

Sheesh.

Not a good day.

I'm going through a personal growth spurt right now. Not the physical kind, unfortunately. I will always be 5'4" without shoes on. I'm talking the "So....who exactly am I?" kind. Oddly (when I'm not exhausted), I'm finding that I rather like speaking out about things.

Lately, I've been up in arms about how people are treated by other people. I find myself annoyed when people (whether they be bosses, conductors, professors or grad students) think they're better than the other people around them. There's also a kid in band who has a serious inferiority complex, and that bugs me too. I am SO sick and tired of feeling like you have to say certain things to certain people at work, and you shouldn't "be heard" saying other things, or else something bad might happen to you. I understand that having tact is helpful, but I think people should be able to be more open in conversation in general. What is so wrong if an employee thinks there's a serious flaw with the company? Shouldn't that be an opportunity to improve? What if you, oh "high"-paid executive, suddenly found that YOUR opinion doesn't matter? What then? I understand the concept of not burning bridges, but I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells. I don't like that feeling. It takes up SO much energy.

I'm becoming something of a "call it as I see it" type of person, but I can't quite get the mixture right.

*sigh* I guess that's what a blog is for.

Happy New Year

I can't believe that January 2008 is finally here. When I applied to Current School, and I filled in "expected graduation" as May 2008, it sounded obnoxiously far away.

"Ha," I thought. "That's never going to come. Ah, well."

All of a sudden, it's around the corner. And it didn't even ask permission. Humph.

Don't get me wrong. I am very excited to graduate. After two years at Former School and 3.5 years at Current School, I'm ready to be done. It's also strange to think that Missionary Brother will be coming home about three weeks after I graduate. The poor kid will have to apply for his schooling while he's still on his mission. He's looking at Former School, Current School, and That Other Big School. I'm trying to convince him that Current School is the way to go, but it may just depend on what scholarships he can drum up.

I, like Nancy, am also approaching a "dot, dot, dot" moment in my life. People are starting to ask what I'll do post-graduation. I tell them that I'm looking forward to a full-time job that is not related to my relatively useless major. Current Job seems interested in potentially creating a full-time job for me to stay. The reason it's a dot, dot, dot, though, is that The Franchise is planning on attending graduate school this fall, and doesn't know exactly where that will be just yet. That's okay. It's an adventure, right? Part of me thinks it would be nice to stick around. Part of me thinks that picking up and relocating would be fun (even if moving and I aren't best friends). Life has so much in store, and while it can be scary, it can also be fun.

I've been blessed a lot in my life, and I know that we'll be taken care of wherever we end up, and that we'll be where we're supposed to be.

I hope that we all can have a good 2008.

Dear Nancy,

When I read your blog, sometimes I feel like we live on different planets. I can't imagine having a baby. Wow.

She is incredibly cute, though. :)