Dear The Franchise,

Thank you.

Love,

Me

Happy October!

So after catching up on the blogs of my friends, I decided it had been far too long since I updated mine.

Life is good right now. I just had some fun concerts. I'm interested in hearing the recordings from the two nights. I even got to dress up. For those of you who know what school I used to attend and what school I now attend (which shall not be named in this post), I was a "really hard-core fan" of Former school (including the football t-shirt for this year, socks, hair ribbons and brightly colored hairspray to match) since I know things like that at Current school really make people upset. I got quite the reaction from my fellow orchestra members.

I like Fall a lot better this year than I have in years past. I'm really enjoying the leaves crunching under my feet. I'm enjoying watching the sun light things up as it rises and sets. I think the trees are beautiful. I'm glad the weather has continued to be warm-ish. Life's good right now.

Tomorrow I'll be speaking in church. I'm planning on speaking on President Packer's talk. I really like that no-one is better than anyone else in the Church. It's been a while since I've spoken in Church, and we've only made it two full times to our new ward, so it should be an adventure. I know next to nothing about the people I'm speaking to. Luckily, we'll be speaking with another couple, which lessens the time I have to stand at the pulpit. I shouldn't be surprised that this is my fate. We managed to weasel our way out of speaking before leaving our singles' ward, since a new bishopric was called a week or two before we left. Ah, well. Sometimes life is more fair than we'd like it to be.

I'm still sick of music and politics and stuff. Thankfully I have orchestra, which has been keeping me sane. Somewhere I'll have to find the motivation to continue on and do my senior recital. I'll have to pass my classes. All that good stuff....which reminds me! I need to complete my application for graduation, which is due Thursday!! Woo-hoo!!! Anyway. When people ask me what I'm planning to do after graduation, my response is something along the lines of, "Something NOT related to music!" I like music. Don't worry about that. I just find it somewhat sickening that people are willing to obsess over it and let it completely take over their lives. They can't comprehend me, either, so I guess it evens out okay. I'm actually looking forward to returning to the world of imperfect musicians, where not everything has to have exactly the right pitch and the right dynamic and has to have just the right amount of crescendo, or it's RUINED! FOREVER! and that sort of thing.

The Elders quorum presidency came by last week and mentioned that the ward choir director position is currently open. Since I'm somewhat terrified of child-related anything, choir director sounds just fine. I've done it before, I can do it again. I just need a good pianist. However, since it's pretty close to Christmas, I may have made the mistake in telling them that I'd be interested in the position. Hmmm.

Oh, and will someone please let The Franchise know that just because we saw one very cute 1-year old child posing as Yoda and his very cute 4-year-old sister posing as Leia (complete with her real hair as the buns on the side of her head), we do not need to have children right this very moment? Thanks. I appreciate it.

And good luck to Ambrosia and Bawb on their Great Move this weekend.

Music

I think I'm getting sick of music.

To those of you who've known me for a long time, this may come as a big shock. Especially since I started playing piano at age 5. I started flute in seventh grade, and haven't stopped since. In high school, I *loved* band and orchestra. Most of the time. But I also loved choir, Spanish and ballroom dance.

That may be some of my problem. I've finally figured out that music majors and true "musicians" are really supposed to love music. They're supposed to know who the famous people are related to their instrument, whether living or dead. They're supposed to know and love the famous repertoire of their instrument and have a life long goal to play everything perfectly and memorized with an orchestra in Carnegie Hall.

I don't! I think I've frustrated my teacher since I arrived at School because I don't really know the flute repertoire (though I'm getting better), and I only recognize the names of those who are old or dead. Whenever famous flute players come to town, it feels like I'm the only one in the studio that doesn't buzz with excitement and anticipation. I don't *need* to be there. I 'm now only doing flute choir because I need the credit to graduate. I only went to the flute convention this year to play politics (and, apparently, to spend a lot of money). I'm sick of hearing the same things from the conductors rehearsal after rehearsal after rehearsal, and I'm tired of knowing that I'll never be "the best."

I'm just glad that my apathy is showing signs of allowing me (at least...) to finish the school year (I hope!) without going completely crazy. It's not like it's no fun -- it still is -- I just don't derive as much fun as I have. Maybe as the ensembles get better I'll have more fun. Maybe it's just beginning of the semester blues. I'm also fairly certain that my lack of sleep over the last couple of months isn't helping, either. Right now, I'd love to sleep for about a week straight.

Oddly, I'm kind of looking forward to a job that I work for 40 hours a week with a lunch hour and the ability to just go home at night. Then maybe I can read books and learn how to do fun things that are in no way related to music.

Thoughts

I'm getting married in a day and a half. For the most part, it just feels like the next step and like it just needs to happen. I have the occasional moment of !FREAK OUT!, but those moments are becoming fewer and further between. It's just time.

I really cannot endorse getting married during school. Even though this was just the 'right time' for us, doing so during a semester of school is pretty tough. Thankfully, my mom and I are of the minimalist sort, and she's been a huge help. I've just been able to toss things at her that need to be taken care of that I can't do because I have to be in class/rehearsal. She and "Anne" (who's helping with the reception and general wedding things) have been so much more detail-oriented than I could ever have been.

I'm learning that weddings, like life, have give-and-take. I put my foot down about things that really matter to me. With other things that I don't really care about, I let those who do care do something that makes them happy and that helps them to feel like they can contribute.

I'm really looking forward to getting to spend some time with my extended family and The Franchise's family, and I'm looking forward to being married. Despite my inability to stay completely afloat with school and practicing and all, life is pretty dang good.

Sorcerer's Apprentice

I love Sorcerer's Apprentice. It's killer hard to play, but it's awesome. :)

It's too bad the girl I sit next to really doesn't like me.

The Franchise

is awesome.

Really awesome. And very thoughtful. And very funny. And very sneaky. And very manly. And we're getting married soon, which is also awesome.

Thanks, love.

Sorry, Sister.

Tonight The Franchise and I went to a party. It was a huge party, and it was fun. There was food. A lot of people were there.

I am a social person, so I can move through a room fairly easily without knowing many people and have not too many problems meeting people and creating friends. When I've attended social events with significant others in the past, one of my measuring sticks was seeing if they could handle themselves in a social situation without hanging on my arm. Unsurprisingly, and thankfully, The Franchise can do this. With much confidence. The Franchise has a lot of confidence, which attracts women (it worked for me...).

So there I am, talking to neighbors I haven't seen in a while, eating food, and moving about the room. The Franchise does the same. Not long after that, we stand together in a corner and (no, we were not making out!) (really.) were discussing some things. I left again to sort of wander, when I noticed a couple of girls approach him with their Feelers.

The Feelers are something that is born to most women I know, though they may be in varying strengths. The Feelers are what girls utilize to attempt to attract men. They communicate with their body language, how they laugh, how much they laugh, their eyes, topics of conversation, and level of enthusiasm. And if they choose to, other girls can ALWAYS tell when other girls are using the Feelers. (Girls may choose to ignore them and go for the guy anyway, but that's typically a conscious decision.)

These girls were totally trying to turn the charm on -- especially one girl. 1- I've never wanted to be the jealous, clingy girlfriend/fiancee/wife, and I make effort at not doing so. 2- I found the whole thing so amusing, and I didn't want to just laugh in her face. 3- The Franchise does a fabulous job of communicating how much he loves and cares for me, so I wasn't really concerned about her so-called wiles. I walked away, figuring The Franchise could handle himself.

He can. :) They chatted it up for a while. Turns out she's from near his Hometown, probably met him when they were teenagers, and was friends with a girl he dated. The Franchise is also a very smart and perceptive man, and totally sensed what this girl was up to. He managed to slip in that he'd moved from Houston to be with me. Though I couldn't hear what was going on, I thought I'd go get some more food and see if this girl was a long-lost pal from the past. I somehow managed to show up just as he was completing the How We Met story. After chatting just the three of us for a moment, and her confirming that I am, indeed, Cinderella, it was amazing how quickly she was gone.

In her defense, if you see an attractive man who doesn't appear to be with someone, and he's not wearing a ring, how the heck are you supposed to know that he's taken and will be married in about six weeks? You don't! I've been on the receiving end of that (though not this exact situation) and it's not fun.

And this is why men should start wearing engagement rings. Especially in Utah, and especially especially in the Provo area.

Yay!

Today I took my car to the dealership, since it's still under warranty, and I had a couple of things that needed to be fixed before I could register it. The man at the dealership was SO nice and friendly and HONEST. He also did not treat me like I've been treated with car stuff: "Since you're a girl, you have no idea what you're talking about. I'm going to rip you off." He did exactly what was asked, fixed it, and sent me on my way. Then I went to get the oil changed at Jiffy Lube. Same thing. SO nice, SO considerate, no "You're stupid 'cause you're a girl" vibes. Very respectful. I think the car industry's gone into a customer service upheaval, and it's about time.

Wedding Vents Since I Can't Sleep

Not that I don't appreciate it all, but why didn't you tell me that everything has strings attached?

If the dress has strings attached, guess what. I'm calling the lady, and she's going to stop the alterations and we're taking it back. We can not do the reception at the current planned location and we can move it somewhere else.

If you're worried about "making it up" or whatever, then pay her!

I can't even pick what I want without you two knocking it down! Since when did it become YOUR wedding, anyway?

Please don't think I'm not grateful. I am. Really. And I love you. Just....WHY does it have to be this complicated?

ARGH!

Ta-da!

September 15th. It's a Saturday. It's also the day that I'll be marrying The Franchise. In some ways, it seems close. In some ways, it still seems like it'll never get here.

I've decided that I'm going kind of minimalist on wedding stuff. I'm not buying a wedding gown. Instead, I'm buying a really nice outfit with the money that I would have spent on a gown, only I'll be able to wear it more than just once! :)

I'm discovering that it is not easy to plan a minimalist wedding. The wedding industry is so massive and so crazy that it's difficult to know where to turn if you don't want all of the frills. Maybe I should start a support group. :)

It's nice to have a goal. It's nice to have a direction. It's nice to move on with life.